Other Losses & Grief Counseling
Grief and Menopause
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Some people have difficulties talking about death and grief which can make it challenging for others to talk about it and ask for support. Most people are familiar with grief due to someone dying however there are other types of grief people experience. One type of grief is Disenfranchised grief which consists of losses that are stigmatized, considered insignificant, unrecognized relationships and non-death losses. Some symptoms of disenfranchised grief may include sadness, anger, depression, loneliness, shame, and anxiety.
Today, we will focus on a non-death loss, specifically menopause. You may wonder, why am I talking about menopause? Menopause may conjure images of women having hot flashes, moodiness, anger, exhaustion, sexual problems and for others it may represent freedom from menstrual cycles and entering an exciting new phase of life where creativity flows and not worrying about what others think of them. While those images may be real experiences for some and not for others, menopause is a transition that affects many women and the grief experienced during this time is important to honor and acknowledge.
Did You Know?
In the United States, 1.3 million women become menopausal each year. Once a woman has 12 consecutive months without a menstrual cycle, a woman is in menopause. Here in the United States, the average menopause age is 51 years old. The transition typically occurs between 45-55 years old and can last from 7-14 years.
The decrease of estrogen and progesterone play critical roles in menopause and affect women's bodies in many ways. Below is a brief overview about the phases of menopause, (yes, phases) and the effects that estrogen and progesterone have on each phase. It puts meaning to the phrase “Sometimes you don’t know what you got until it’s gone.”
Phases of Menopause
The first phase is Perimenopause. During this phase, various symptoms begin, such as irregular menstrual cycles, hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes, and weight gain due to metabolism change. In addition, vaginal dryness, changes in sex drive, brain fog, thinning hair, dry skin, and loss of breast fullness may occur. During this time, the amount of estrogen and progesterone produced by the ovaries fluctuates, which causes the symptoms.
The second phase is Menopause. During this time, the menstrual cycle ceases, and a woman cannot get pregnant. The body’s production of the hormones estrogen and progesterone decreases significantly. Some may still experience hot flashes; however, most other symptoms subside. Health risks increase for osteoporosis, heart disease, and stroke due to the small amounts of estrogen and progesterone produced.
The final phase is Post-menopause. Post-menopause is the time after menopause. A woman can experience 1/3 of life in post-menopause. The health risks that occur in the menopause phase continue to increase during post-menopause. Continuing to eat healthy, being active, and increasing calcium intake is especially important during this phase.
Typically, it is a gradual transition to menopause; however, some other issues can cause it to occur sooner. Having a hysterectomy or ovaries removed, treatments for endometriosis, breast cancer treated with antiestrogen, and chemotherapy medications for other cancers can cause early menopause. Support is very important for women experiencing early menopause. Read more about grief counseling and let’s connect for a free 15 minute consultation.
Honoring Grief during Menopause
Menopause is a normal part of life; however, feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion can arise. Grief about your body changing physically and the things you did before may seem to be more difficult. You may get injured more frequently and take longer to heal. You may have difficulties concentrating or feel you are in “brain fog” which can affect your work life. Anger maybe your go-to emotion, which is important to feel, however, under the anger may be grief.
Society tends to value youth and fertility. Those messages are sent to women constantly and can be very powerful even if you don’t adhere to those values. Self-care and self-compassion are essential to keep in mind while experiencing the menopause transition. I genuinely believe that menopause has incredible emotional benefits, and for some, it takes time to realize them and honor them. It is a process of self-discovery.
If you are experiencing grief around menopause, the more you resist or deny your sadness, the more suffering you may experience. The menopause journey is unique, and if you are experiencing grief around menopause, you are not alone. I am here to support you! Please get in touch with me to schedule your free 15-minute consultation today.
References
Haley, E. (2020, November 4). Expanding our understanding of loss and grief. What’s your Grief.
Retrieved November 3, 2021, from https://whatsyourgrief.com/understanding-of-loss-and-grief/
Peacock, K. 2021, June 29 Menopause. StatPearls [Internet]., U.S. National Library of Medicine
Retrieved October 30, 2021, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507826/
Raypole, C. (2020, March 30) Disenfranchised Grief: When No One Seems to Understand Your Loss
Retrieved on November 2, 2021, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/disenfranchised-grief
What is Menopause? (n.d.) National Institute on Aging, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Retrieved October 30, 2021, from https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-menopause
