Self-Care While Grieving
Grief is universal; however, our experience with grief is unique. Grieving is not easy, and it is essential to take care of yourself during this time. Grief may affect you in ways that are confusing and overwhelming. Providing self-care may help you navigate your grief in ways that are healing and nurturing. Grief affects your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being, and self-care offers a way to honor our grief and take care of the parts of ourselves that are impacted by grief.
What's Your Grief website (https://whatsyourgrief.com/self-care-ideas-for-grievers/) lists 64 helpful self-care ideas, especially when it may be too challenging to come up with ideas or tactics while grieving. I especially like #15- BREATHE, which stands for; Be kind to yourself, Respect your body, Engage with others, Allow emotions to ebb and flow, Take life one minute at a time, Honor your loved one and Examine your expectations.
What Is Self-Care?
Self-care is doing things for yourself that promote joy and health. There are typically three realms of self-care, which are mental, physical, and spiritual. What may be considered self-care to someone may be completely different for others, and that is okay. It should always be what works best for you personally.
General Benefits of Self-Care
The benefits of self-care regarding the mental arena are reducing anxiety, depression, stress, frustration, and anger and increasing concentration and energy levels. Examples are saying no to too many or uncomfortable requests, kind self-talk, and permitting yourself to pause before deciding or automatically saying something are some of the possible ways to attend to the mental realm. Physical benefits may include a decrease in risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer. Exercise, sleep, eating healthy, and limiting alcohol and other substances also help tremendously. The rewards in the Spiritual realm may include gaining inner wisdom, connecting with a higher power, and having a deeper understanding of the meaning of life. A few ways to facilitate self-care for the spiritual realm are spending time in nature, meditation, and yoga.
Starting a Self-Care Routine
A good first step is to think about the activities that bring you joy and health. These interests can provide energy and relaxation. The next step is to choose one of the activities to integrate into your week. Third, work up to including that activity every day for one week. Once you have incorporated the interest every day for one week, reflect on how it felt to do it. Add another activity when you are ready.
What May Prevent You from Doing Self-Care?
Have you ever heard an inner or external voice say, “It is selfish to take care of yourself, or it's more important to take care of others”? Some people feel guilty for doing self-care and believe that it is more important to take care of others. However, it's like the saying on an airplane, "Put your oxygen mask on before putting it on your child.” When I first heard that on a plane, I thought that didn't seem right, and now I get it, you can't help the other person if you don't have oxygen for yourself. The same goes for self-care; if you aren't providing self-care for yourself, it's challenging to help others.
Unsure What Is Helpful for You?
Getting to know yourself is an essential part of figuring out what self-care is for you. It may feel daunting to explore what works for you. Many of us grew up not learning about self-care and what brings us joy. Exploring what you do and don’t like or what works and doesn’t work for you takes practice.
Sometimes, you may be exhausted and overwhelmed and not sure you have the energy to figure out self-care for yourself. If you feel tired or overwhelmed, start with the basics; get sleep, exercise, eat healthy, and be gentle with yourself. Read more for grief counseling and let’s connect for a free 15 minute consultation.
References
Lawler, Moira. (2021, September 3). What Is Self-Care and Why Is it So Important For Your Health?
Retrieved from https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/
Haley, Eleanor. (2021, September 3). 64 Self-Care Ideas for People Who Are Grieving.
Retrieved from https://whatsyourgrief.com/self-care-ideas-for-grievers/
